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Re: Renaissance Entry 1
It has potential, I'll give you that. You'll need to refine it, though, and keep yourself from telling instead of showing. Also all those numbers at the end? It messes ...
Feb 5, 2008 -
Re: The Magic of Chocolate: (chapter 3) Space Call
It was slightly confusing as to what the plot was about, what was happening in this chapter. It was a little unclear. You should make sure the reader knows all ...
Feb 5, 2008
